It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. (Audrey Hepburn)

Selfless acts were one thing but a selfless joy, now that was groundbreaking. When Gloria's mother showed up on Sunday I was filled with a weird sensation. I was happy for her. I got no personal gratification but it was still such a great feeling. I sat there alone in the tea garden but I didn't feel alone: I felt happy. I was more aware of all the people around me now. I was starting to like people. It was strange.

Christian returned that Sunday too. I suppose I should have been apologetic or modest after our marital turbulence, but I was so excited about Gloria's happiness.

I forgot all the things that had happened and I gushed, “Look at them!” I pointed to Gloria. “Look how happy Gloria is!” I was nearly in tears I was so excited. “I did that. It wasn't all me of course, but I helped it along.” I beamed at Gloria beaming at her mother and I didn't see it then but Christian was beaming at me. It was a circle of goodness. It was a positive feedback loop. I liked the good feeling of being good.

I decided then that I did deserve Christian, that I was a Christian, and that I would be good.

I could see people now. Drugs ruined lives. I didn’t want to be involved in that negative force tearing people down. I didn’t want to be cuckolded in my own little corner of the world. I wanted to be part of the world. I wanted to embrace people, embrace life, embrace God and embrace goodness.

I liked the strange feeling of being good and clean. I wished it on others. If only my family could be good and clean. If only they knew what it felt like. It was better than being bad.

Uncle Tony was getting pretty sick and so my family didn't come to visit while I was locked away. I had planned a trip to visit them the week after I got out. I would buy my new plane first, no expense to be spared on account of my fourteen million dollar payday (not bad for a three and a half minute phone call).