It was not your fault but mine and it was your heart on the line. I really ------ it up this time, didn't I my dear? (Mumford and Sons)

I felt really happy as the driver took us to our building. I felt like my horizons had been broadened and I felt like a better person for it.

I wondered if Christian had missed me at church. I would be honest about my trip. I bet he would be impressed. I would even tell him about Joseph. A rich Saudi boyfriend couldn't hurt the situation. It's not like Christian could possibly be any less interested in me.

I fell asleep on Joseph's shoulder and was jarred awake by the state of affairs that met us at the apartment.

I saw Rider's car before anything else. I hoped I wasn't in trouble. Little did I know, Rider was the least of my concern.

The building was partitioned with police tape. Rider was standing with two police officers and his lawyer. He looked like my father for the first time. He hadn't slept in a while.

I didn't see the press until I had got out of the car. They abandoned the officers and bombarded me. I lost any cool or charisma I had built. Lights were flashing, microphones were shoved down my throat and everyone was yelling at me. I couldn't comprehend anything they were saying. I was trying to look behind and find Joseph. I was reaching out to him. He was nowhere. I was surrounded. Courtney Steinbecker, my lawyer and savior, pulled me out of the lion's den. She refused comment on the horrific tragedy that had transpired. She told them that I had been overseas and had not been briefed.