I looked away across the sea where mansions are prepared for me. (Edgar Page Stites)

I think it made it worse that I got off scotch free when it was all my fault.

I went to see William first. I couldn't get in because I wasn't family. I wanted to tell him I loved him. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to give him all my money. I wanted to hold him, promise him everything would be okay.

Nicky was in the waiting room. When I spotted him I started running toward him. He stood up and shouted, “No, get away from me! Get out of here!”

I left. I got on a plane and flew to Beulah, North Dakota. I had to go to Miami's funeral. When I showed up I was a mess. I had come alone and I had cried the whole way. When her parents saw me I guess they knew by the state I was in that I was close to her. They approached me.

“You were a friend of hers in California?” her mother asked.

I nodded and cried.

Her mother hugged me and cried.

“What's your name honey?”

“It's Honey,” I said. I might have smiled at the irony under different circumstances.

“You're Honey?” her father asked. He shook my hand and cried. “You saved her life.”

I killed her.

“You gave her a job when she needed it most.”

The job that killed her and when she needed me most I was vacationing with my boyfriend. She took my place while I was gone. She took my bullet.