When you love me, it's as if God forgave me for being the mess I am. (John Fowles, The Magus)

I knew he was my husband. I had been there at the wedding. Still, it wasn’t until that afternoon that it really sunk in. I wasn’t a child or a bachelorette anymore, I was a wife. I had to start taking responsibility. I had to start thinking about others, well not others necessarily but Christian at least.

The least I could do was talk to him. For someone who grew up fast I could be a real child sometimes.

I started to slide toward the ladder to climb down but as I tried to lower myself I realized I couldn’t feel my legs. This wasn’t just the numb feeling I had in the house a moment ago or was that hours ago? Either way, this wasn’t like that. This was real. I couldn’t move my legs.

I toppled to the gravel floor of the barn and it all went black.