Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this too shall pass. (Ann Landers)

Christian’s mother whisked into the hospital looking for answers. I stood by as the nurses stumbled through charts and conversed with people who hadn't just started their shift. She was getting increasingly upset. She was beautiful: petite and slight, pale and so blonde her hair looked white. She was scared more than anything and jumped when I put my hand on her shoulder.

“Hi, are you Christian's mother?”

“Who are you? Sorry,” she shook her head, “I'm sorry. Who are you?”

“My name is Hope. I'm a friend of his and I was there when it happened.”

She lost all interest in the nurse's station. “Is he going to be okay? What happened?”

“He's in surgery right now. He was mugged, stabbed.”

“Oh God,” she cried. “I can't lose him. I can't.” The woman I just met collapsed into my arms. “He can't die.”

I wasn't just ruining one person at a time anymore, there were families involved now. I promised myself that I would permanently remove myself from his life if Christian survived.