One minute I held the key, next the walls were closed on me. And I discovered that my castles stand on pillars of salt and pillars of sand. (Coldplay)

I knew my driver was watching and I knew it was impractical in a dress but I climbed over the gate and leaped into the courtyard. The fallen walls seemed to cave in around me as I spun slowly taking it all in. It was destroyed. The plants were dead. The pool was empty and dirty. I could feel the death of six seven souls lingering all around me. I knelt beside the pool and considered all that had happened. Was it worth it? Were my shining moments worth the pain they caused? What did I have to show for it? Houses, a plane, a friend in jail, an assistant in the ground, a protégé dead, a driver gone forever… Lives ruined. My life wasn’t though, not really.

In my apartment, I remembered. I didn’t think of Tommy bleeding out in my bathroom or William knocking apprehensively at my door or police stupidly searching the place. I thought of Nicky. I wondered where he was now. I went to the balcony and thought of jumping. That’s what this chapter of my life was about: jumping off. This was my starting point.

I looked over the city. You could be mine, but I paced back out toward the courtyard and I stood on the second floor landing and overlooked my fallen dream. I remembered the clichés: fail seven times, stand eight. The best success comes after the greatest disappointment. Failure builds character. Success is a state of mind. A woman doesn’t fail until she blames someone else for her failure. The end justifies the means. No, the means justify the end. I didn’t know how to feel about it all anymore but I knew this could not be the end. An untimely end to my empire was something I would not accept.