For some reason I can't explain, I know St. Peter won't call my name. (Coldplay)

I had to redefine what I considered success.

I walked back into my apartment and sat on the floor of the balcony. I leaned against the wall, got sufficiently high, and pondered where I would go from here. Senior was a grave influence but if I let someone else tell me what I wanted I would be going against everything I stood for.

Power: that was all I’d ever wanted. What was more powerful than money? I could get more.

Drugs were powerful too. They had a power over people and the power to attain the primary objective, money.

God was powerful. He was the powerful force I had glazed over before. I didn’t know how I could rely on Him though. I went to church and made generous contributions to the collection plate but He still wasn’t on my side, I knew that.

Flying made me feel powerful.

Money, drugs, God, and flying: this was what was important to me.