I was always leaving so I never felt lonely. (Me)

I guess the next notable event was the first time I flew. I could give you a bunch of descriptive adjectives but you wouldn't understand how amazing it felt unless you were me.

Then there was my first retail acquisition. I loved my building. It was great. However, I wanted some privacy. I didn't like having people in my face all the time. Knock, knock, knock, can you blow my nose? Rider wouldn't like the idea of me being anywhere but there but can you imagine living in your office? What about living at your high school? That was what it was like. Between the business and the drama I was always overwhelmed. I still intended to spend most nights at the apartment but needed my own house to escape to sometimes, even if just a couple nights a week.

I took Nicky with me to see a house in Holmby Hills, I took William with me to see a house in Pasadena, I took an actress named Miami to see a gated house in Newport, and Rider came with me to the Pacific Palisades. I bought them all. I had a live-in housekeeper in each house. I had beautiful furnishings. I had the American dream and it just kept growing.

I had a staff and my staff was growing. There was my realtor, Tanya Nolan; my assistant, Miami; my runner, Martin; my lawyer, Courtney Steinbecker; my financial advisor, Isabelle Deff; my nutritionist/grocery shopper, Zoey; my cook, Cub Chow; and let's not forget my army of housekeepers. There were boys in my life, there were women on my payroll, but I had no friends. I felt like I was always doing the leaving so I never really felt lonely, even without any real friends.

There's a cliché that says that it's lonely at the top but I disagree. I think you're probably alone at the top, sure. But I think you’re only lonely when you're left and that's why the only time I was lonely was the one time I felt abandoned. At that point in my life the only time I had felt abandonment was when my mother opted to stay in Philadelphia when she got out of jail to be closer to my father: that hurt. I was lonely then. I had come so far since then, not physically, I mean I was still in LA but I had moved from Rider's sofa to the proud owner of multiple mansions all over the city. The city was mine. How could you be lonely when you have a city?