All you need in life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. (Mark Twain)

Tommy and I were watching from my apartment, trying not to seem desperate as a couple of the girls sipped drinks by the pool. They got up to leave and when they we in the gateway they spoke with the bouncer. I didn’t know what he said but they turned around and started marching right toward my apartment.

“Oh God,” I said and backed away from the window. The sun was still setting and my apartment was a dim shadowy orange. “I think the bouncer is holding people hostage.”

“I knew this was going to be a disaster,” Tommy fretted and collapsed onto my bed, well, our bed as of late.

They knocked and I reluctantly opened the door with a big fake smile. “Hi girls!”

“Is there a hundred dollar cover to get into this party?”

“Um…” I stalled. I couldn’t tell them I was expecting a hoard of high school kids.

“There’s a bouncer at the gate and he told us if we leave we have to pay a hundred dollars to get back in.”

“Oh that’s just for people who aren’t on the list,” I quickly fabricated. “As a tenant you obviously wouldn’t have to pay to get into your own house. It’s just for the people who aren’t on the list. They actually have to pay the entry each time they come in. But once this gets going no one will want to leave.”

“What about my friends? Can I get my friends on the list?”

“Depends.”

“On who they are, we’re not just going to let anyone in. I guess if they come in with you it would be okay but anyone outside of that I’ll need to screen or they can just pay the hundred dollars.”

Suitably impressed, they stayed. People began to emerge from their apartments. Tommy was still discouraged but at 10:30 on the dot, as if it were written on the poster, a swarm of high school kids stormed the courtyard. The teenage girls looked like movie stars and the varsity boys carried themselves like they owned the place. I tried to count the underage heads: cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching. The courtyard was full and everyone was having fun. I noticed a big smile on Tommy’s face and any worries I had left were gone. I figured cover alone must have raked in at least five grand, but it ended up being just over ten thousand.

Without even trying I had got over a hundred paying patrons. Cover charges just scratched the surface. Tommy moved our entire first batch of meth.