If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling. (Anthony de Mello)

When I was walking Rider out, Nicky was at the pool with one of the other miscellaneous aspiring actress. He was practically dry humping her on the tanning chair they were sharing.

I kept looking straight ahead. I carried on my conversation with Rider as if it were as important as it was entertaining. I debated hopping in his car and making him take me back to Santa Monica with him but when he made a joke about Nicky and upping the screening for tenants I felt defensive. This was my home and I would have to face the music.

I swear their smacking lips grew significantly louder when I walked by. I get that Nicky and I were just friendly friends but still I expected at least a little decency. Even if he pretended he wasn’t hooking up with this dumb wannabe actress that would be enough. Any effort at all would have been appreciated.

When, at Rider’s side, I first saw the scene, I wanted to rip her apart. Then I wanted to destroy him. But I’m not an idiot. I knew if I tousled with either (or both) of them Rider would lose his faith in me and my ability to run this place.

I could do it, I could be in control.