Wednesday, 20 June 2012

It’s not like we’re kids anymore. Everybody grows up. It’s not like Peter Pan or something. (The Wonder Years)

Later while Penny was out on the balcony, Rider slipped through the door behind her.

“I thought Tommy didn’t sleep,” he teased, pointing back to Tommy asleep inside on his couch.

“Everybody sleeps sometimes.”

Rider leaned against the rail beside her and they looked out on the sprawling city.

“You look different in the sun,” Penny told him.

He squinted curiously. “Compliment or insult?”

She smirked. “I’m not sure yet.”

“How are things at home?”

Goosebumps formed on her forearms despite the heat.

“Okay.”

“What does ‘okay’ mean?”

“I love Tommy and I love your family.”

“But?”

“But sometimes I miss my own family.”

“What does Tommy tell you to do?”

“We don’t really talk about it.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not sure.”

“This is my dream you know, to be with Tommy.”

“Is it all you expected it to be?”

“Sometimes it’s more, sometimes I cry because I’m so lucky. Sometimes it’s less, sometimes I cry because I’m scared and I don’t know what’s going to happen to us.”

“What do you mean?”

“This is dangerous.”

“What is?”

“This life: the jobs, the drugs, Tommy is going to get himself killed in Philadelphia. I love the house and I never want to move but sometimes it’s hard to be so close to my estranged parents. Sometimes I wake up in the night and Tommy is out walking around and I can’t get back to sleep because I’m so afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Of anything, of everything. It’s not like your family is without enemies and it’s not like they are overly discreet either. Anything could happen.”

“Don’t think like that.”

“I have to: no one else does. Tommy, Tony, Vincent: they all think they’re invincible and untouchable but they aren’t. We’re just regular people living an extreme life.”

“You don’t have to be afraid.”

“No, that’s what Tommy would tell me but it’s not true. I’ve been living in the dark and I’m just starting to realize how dangerous this life is.”

“But what you haven’t realized is how dangerous the men you live with are.”

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